My TOP 5 most-played songs - Agosto 2017

A música já há muito tempo faz parte da minha rotina diária: quando estou aborrecida ou a andar pela rua ou antes de adormecer ou simplesmente porque me apetece. Por esse motivo selecionei as 5 músicas que mais ouvi durante este último mês e decidi partilhar com o mundo.

Sem qualquer ordem específica, aqui têm as minhas 5 músicas mais ouvidas em Agosto.

1. Figure it Out - Royal Blood

Royal Blood é uma banda de rock britânica com músicas que me fazem sentir viva e energética. Em Julho tive a oportunidade de assistir a parte do concerto deles no NOS Alive e mal posso esperar por os voltar a ver no próximo mês de Outubro (apesar da euforia do público ser um pouco demais para mim). Esta música é sobre a confusão que é o amor, especialmente enquanto somos mais novos e ainda não percebemos bem o mundo (e estamos a tentar "figure it out"). 

2. Lemondrops - Telema

Com um ritmo muito mais lento mas a demonstrar que as coisas que agora parecem ser difíceis e complicadas com tempo acabam por passar ou ficar bem (desde que mantenhamos a cabeça erguida ao mesmo tempo que tenhamos um ombro para chorar). Lemondrops é uma música que transmite calma, esperança e tranquilidade. Encontrei-a por acaso e não podia ter sido em melhor altura.

3. Black Flies - Ben Howard

Segundo o cantor e compositor esta música é sobre perder uma amizade quando ambos os lados lutaram muito para a manter mesmo sabendo que no final acabaria por não resultar. No entanto, quero muito partilhar a minha própria interpretação da música (que muito honestamente não se afasta do significado original).

Adorei a música desde a primeira vez que a ouvi e já a ouvi muitas, muitas vezes mas só mais tarde é que fez um click. 

"Comfort came against my will, every story must grow old" - esta foi a "frase" que teve mais impacto na minha pessoa: inicialmente achei a primeira parte bastante inteligente mas nunca a tinha realmente percebido, porque antes não me era relevante a nível pessoal. Mas agora percebo. Eu sei o que é sentir aquela dor que te "sufoca" começar a desaparecer e é um sentimento muito confuso. Queres agarrar-te de tal forma à dor por ser uma espécie de última ligação a uma relação que significou muito para ti. Quando não sentes aquela dor vibrante com a mesma intensidade de antes... "(the) story grows old". Só a ideia é insuportável, como é que acabou? Mas a parte do conforto tem de chegar e mesmo assim essa parte "comes against your will" porque tens de seguir o teu próprio caminho mas gostavas com todo o teu coração que isso não significasse ter de esquecer! (Espero que faça algum tipo de sentido para vocês!)

4. Fake Happy - Paramore

É uma música com um ritmo mexido e divertido, com uma letra direta que reflete a forma como às vezes lidamos com os nossos problemas e como às vezes lidamos com as nossas emoções: ter vergonha de nos sentirmos mal e ter vergonha de nos sentirmos mal por nos estarmos a sentir mal, ou seja,  fake happy (eu sei que é confuso mas ouçam a música e percebem o que quero dizer).

5. Dancing in the Grey - Michael Malarkey

Este artista foi a maior descoberta deste mês e estou tão mas tão contente por ela! Para quem gosta de Vampire Diaries... Michael Malarkey é o ator/cantor que dá vida à personagem... Enzo (por pura coincidência é uma das minhas personagens favoritas da série)!

 No início de Agosto descobri então as músicas dele e o facto do seu sotaque britânico, o ritmo e batida das suas músicas se misturarem tão bem de uma forma tão agradável e... perfeita? Fez com que eu o ouvisse non-stop! 

18 things I learned in 18 years

For the past few months, I've been making a list of important things I have learned in my life. Mistakes are made and lessons are learned and since I have been walking on this planet for 18 years now, I complied a list of some value lessons I learned. So, here are 18 things I have figured out until this important date of my life:

1. People will promise to never leave you, they will. It's okay to be sad when they do.

2. Don't be afraid to be alone. Take yourself to watch a movie, go for a walk by yourself, re-read your favorite book! Be alone, and be okay with it! Enjoy it!

3. Boys will flirt with you for a while and then ignore you. Then, they will flirt with you some more. It will be confusing and you have every right to stop putting up with it!

4. You have to accept who you are, flaws and all, before you can be part of your perfect love story with a fairytale ending! Find happiness in your individuality before you search for it in another person!

5. Pay attention to what people say when they are angry. When you make up and they tell you they didn't mean any of it, know they did. Also, know that they wish they didn't. Forgive them.

6. Never pretend to be someone you're not. If you don't like big parties or classic novels, don't act like you do! If you don't like skirts and dresses or girly shoes, don't wear them to please someone else!

7. People will be mean to you, they will spread lies, call you names, tell your secrets and talk about you behind your back. Eventually, you will realize that's petty and stupid and not worth your time. You'll be right! Move on with your life.

8. Your friends will not always be there for you. When you really need to talk, they will sometimes not want to hear it. That's okay. Take a deep breath and remember all the times you felt the same way. Exhale.

9. You can't win the war if your mind is always starting the fight. You have to learn to love yourself. you have got to see that you're worth so much more than those dark thoughts consuming your mind. You can only get through your struggles if you change the way you perceive yourself. Start to believe in yourself!

10. Accept that you will sometimes be wrong! Don't be too proud to admit when you are!

11. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone that you appreciate them. Whether it's an "I love you" or just a simple "Thank you for being my friend"! Tell them how you feel. It might be terrifying in some cases and gratifying in others. It will create and ruin relationships. But speak your mind, even if your voice shakes because your thoughts may never otherwise be heard. It's a terrible feeling to lose someone important for you and not remember the last time you told them how much you cared!

12. Keep a journal! This way you can remember the good and the not so good and that's important.

13. If you have a dream, go after it! Leave behind those who called you crazy and those who said you couldn't do it and PROVE. THEM. WRONG! "She believed she could so she did"

14. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier or more popular than you. The beauty of it is that it isn't a competition. You're unique! 

15. There are people in your life who care and there are people in your life who will listen. Don't be afraid to open up and ask for help if you're struggling and need guidance! You don't always need to be your own hero, it's okay to let people in!

16. Try new things. Try a new flavor, try a new kind of juice, switch up the way you dress. You never know what you might end up loving. Life can get boring. Mix it up a bit!

17. If your mom tells you something believe her because she's probably right! And keep in mind that all she wants is to see you happy, you mean everything to her.

18. It's okay not to have your life figured out by 18, no one has it all together. And if they do... they are probably lying.

Hello March! My Goals for you are...

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and wind blows cold: when  it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade" - Charles Dickens

March has arrived and what does that mean? It means that the days will be longer. The darkest days of winter will be consumed by the shining sun. It's the beginning of a new season! It's time to wake up! Clean your mind! Do something for yourself, try new things. Make a change if you feel like it! Let things go. Restart or start new. Read a book a week. Be more adventurous. Spring is arriving!

In my attempt to be more active and productive when it comes to blogging I've decided to start a monthly series. At the start of each month, I'll write about or list my goals and plans for the month ahead! Then at the end of each month, I can look back and see if the month has gone the way I wanted it to! Hopefully set goals for each month will help me to be more productive. Although as Queen of Procrastination and Laziness we will see!

1. Take up Youtube again

My first goal is related with what I mentioned before, be productive when it comes blogging or youtube: I haven't been making videos for a year now because I decided to take some time off from youtube and blogging! I also had to focus more on school because the results weren't exactly what I expected. During that time apart started to miss those feelings I had whenever I was filming or recording for my channel or writing for my blog! So here I am trying to start all over again and bring you new and better content that I used to upload/post.

2. Read More

I'm constantly complaining that I don't have time to read and then I notice myself scrolling through social media for no reason. Instead of wasting my time with social media or way too many Netflix episodes during my free time I could read.

3. Go out more

Yesterday my mum (completely out of the blue) came to my room to tell me that I have no social life which gave me no other option but laugh. "I do have a social life! What do you mean?" I said, and then she explained that my friends and I don't hang out in my room anymore, we never meet up during the weekend or plan simple things like go to downtown, go to a coffee shop or to the movies. In part she is right, my friends and I don't hang out that much at my house and we really don't plan anything during the weekend but only DURING SCHOOL PERIOD! We do plan a lot of stuff during summer or during Christmas break! But if we don't really have too much to study we should at least try to plan more things to do, especially during this last couple of months of school!

4. Practice yoga/pilates

I have always wanted to try yoga but I never looked for this class at my gym and the excuse that I had no time was always there! So this month I'm definitely going to try them!



What are your March goals?

March Wish list

My inner self always considered this month as "my month" ever since I was little! Why? Definitely, because March always ages me one more year!
Thinking about a new month that brings us new challenges and opportunities with new stories and adventures and also new wishes (that are made to give love to myself and of course to bring me some joy), this is my March wish list.

Março, o mês que eu, desde pequena, considero como sendo "o meu mês", pois é o mês que me envelhece mais um ano!
A pensar, assim, num novo mês com novos desafios e oportunidades, com novas histórias e aventuras, estes são os meus desejos para o mês (desejos que servem principalmente para me mimar e, claro, animar!).

1. Real Techniques Eyeshadow Starters Kit - HERE / 2. Demeliss Pro by Saint Algue (I can't find any official website, I'm sorry) / 3. Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara - HERE / 4. Intimissimi Bralette Sara Lace Satin- HERE / 5. Lovely Breeze Brow Bar Silver Sun Glasses (Portuguese Accessories Store that ships worldwide!) - HERE / 6. Urban Decay Perversion Ultra Fine Tip Eyeliner (it's a freaking vegan eyeliner!) - HERE / 7. Adidas Gazelle Shoes (which are on its way to my lovely home) - HERE / 8. Calzedonia Leggings Jeans Patch Garden - HERE 

Things people don't say about long distance relationships

If you are in the same situation that I am, or you wonder how it is to be in this situation, I do really want to give you an idea of a few things people forget to mention about long distance relationships.

First things first, people will question you (a lot), they will question your motives, your sanity, they will even try to convince you that it's not worth it, that it's stupid going through this whole distance thing, "why can't you find someone here?", "Yeah... Good luck with that". It's really annoying but you end up getting used to these comments and learn to shut them down.

Just because someone lives far away, doesn't mean they are not the one. Just because someone lives close to you doesn't mean they are the one.

You'll have doubts, you will question your choice, you will question everything, it's not your fault, it's human nature. But you have got to be mentally stronger than those doubts.

Being far from the one you're in love with is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. There are moments when you'll get sad for no actual reason, and you will sit and wonder why. People will tell you to suck it up, "you chose this, you knew what you were getting yourself into". But it's okay to be upset. In the end is also one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do. Plus, you have to be ready to make hard and life decisions all the time!

It's expensive, but fortunately, there are many ways to get around these days. Nothing can compare to the feeling you get when you're with them or see them for the first time after a while.

Most important thing... It's worth it.

8 Things I Really Appreciate on my LDR

Valentine's Day is already next week and honestly I'm not even sure if I have plans for that day. I never really gave too much importance to that day but I think it would be interesting have some special program for the day! The right person can really change you... Anyways, I'm on a LDR (meaning, long distance relationship) and I think that one of the worst things about it is when you try to go to sleep at night and you can imagine what it would be like to be cuddling with that person, the warmth of their body against yours, being the big spoon or the little spoon, feeling safe in his arms, knowing that when you wake up, they will be right beside you. Although, there are a few things that I do really appreciate, here is a list 8 of them:

1. The texts you get from him make you smile at your phone like an idiot.

2. You have the cutest Skype dates (and a lot of How I Met Your Mother episodes)

4. SKYPE KISSES!!

5. You get really excited planning visits and talking about closing the distance someday.

6. Every visit is a huge adventure.

7. You really appreciate the little things close distance couples don't.

8. You know that if you survive distance you both can survive anything!

Don't Let Go.

There are a lot of things that come with falling in love. There is falling in love with the way his smile brightens a room. There is falling in love with the way he sounds when he's just woken up and he calls you just to say good morning and make sure you're okay. There is falling in love with that moment you spent with him laying on the floor of the balcony where everything began while listening to your favorite bands together. There is falling in love with the way he looks at you like you're the best person walking on Earth. There is falling in love with the way you can talk about anything. There is falling in love with the way he gets excited when he sees something that he really likes. There is falling in love with his smile and how happy he looks while both of you watch his favorite tv serie (*cof* How I Met Your Mother *cof*) because he wanted you to watch it. 

So, if he can make you laugh and forget how awful your day was, don't let him go. If he can make your heart explode just with a smile, don't let him go. If he makes your mind full of happy thoughts and daydreams, don't let him go. If he calms you not only with his words but also with the sound of his voice, don't let him go. This feeling can slip through our fingers so easily and if you let it go there's no guarantee it'll come back.

Long distance relationships aren't always ideal. They are really tough, in fact. You spend countless hours talking through a phone or through a screen. You can't see the person when you want to or when you need them the most. You can't hug or kiss or hold hands, you lose the intimacy in a physical sense. But then, your relationship becomes based on each other and nothing else.

You learn to communicate, because a long distance relationship without communication is nothing. You learn to trust, because you can't always see or know everything the person is doing. You learn to sacrifice because someone is going to lose some hours of sleep (depending on the responsibilities of each other, time difference, etc). 

And lastly, you learn to appreciate. When you only have limited amount of time with a person, you learn to appreciate every single moment you have with them. When you finally see that person after weeks or months of seeing them only though a computer screen it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. When you've waited for something so long and you finally have it, you cherish it.

So, I hope that you fall for someone who loves you more than you love yourself. I hope you fall for someone who makes you feel like a little kid again. I hope you fall for someone who accepts your flaws and your faults, and loves you all the same. I hope you fall for someone, and love deeply, truly and fully, even when it hurts so bad you don't want to. I hope you fall and experience everything you never thought you deserved, at least I am.

Love. Love, is a scary word. It's a word that I got use to not mention, forget that it exists. It's a word that I am terrified to use. But, I have been feeling like there are three words that really, really want to say out laud but I can't do it. I can't do it because I'm afraid and because... What if it is too soon? I can't speak confidently about it, so I write. I write because it's easier for me.

Falling and falling and...

People always assume that we can only fall in love once, that we spend our lives searching for "the one"... But I believe that to be wrong. Love... Love is crazy, complicated, an unexplainable thing.

People think that they are "lucky" to have found their "soul mate"; to be with someone and just stupidly know that it will all last forever. It's okay to think like that. But on my point of view, I see it as an illusion, maybe because I never really fell in love by someone or maybe because I know that people (sometimes) confuse certain feelings for love (this doesn't mean that I've never loved anyone).

People think that not caring will make someone comeback, that make someone jealous, that making it seem like they have forgotten who you are, will get you to comeback wanting them (human logic). In truth, it makes people give up on hoping that, for a moment, things could have worked in the future because when you should be the best version of you, you are being your worst.

I always wanted to believe in love but I don't think I never knew how. When I was younger (because I'm super old now) I romanticized the idea of one person being out there for everybody, so everyone at some point in their life would find love, would find their "true love", their "soul mate"; but all we had to do was to find them. But I've learned that there are million people out there that we'll fall in love with.

We fall in love too easily (sometimes), but it doesn't stop us from falling and it doesn't stop us from loving passionately. We give our hearts to the wrong people and that's the reason why it's called 'falling' instead of 'jumping' because love isn't something you can control, it happens as naturally as breathing.

I'm the type that when things get serious I am the first to run away because through the years I allowed myself to be afraid of feelings, be afraid of love. The reason why it happened is something that I'm still trying to figure out, but I can guess that is because I know that while you are falling everything is okay and you feel like you are living your own fairly tail but once you hit the ground... you break, and I don't want to break.

Although, we must trust that when (and if) we find the right person, on the way down, we won't be falling and break, this time we will fly.

I think, I think too much

Have you ever read something that killed you inside? Like a text message or someone's statues (or tweet), you feel like everything was going fine until you come across something you didn't want to read. Or you found out something you were better off not knowing. It's almost as it was posted just to purposely hurt you. You constantly read it over and over and over again to torture yourself. That has become some kind of routine for me.

From time to time I found out something or read something that maybe I shouldn't have. But the fact is, I did and instead I carry on with my life and ignore the "pain" that knowing bring me I just keep thinking about it trying to find a reason that could explain the whole situation.

I think, I think too much and I might not be always right but sometimes, actions, timing, words, people, all these factors make me believe I should keep thinking about the situation, make me think I should keep torture myself about the subject! Ironically, these same factor are the ones that help me to eventually move on and realize that all the time I spent destroying myself inside wasn't worth it. With time all the bad won't matter in the future.

Who am I?

I'm Mary, I'm 17 from Lisbon, the portuguese capital. Melblemary is my creative outlet for photography, personal style and travel.

A bit about me: I'm a wanderlust-er. For those who are not familiar with this term: wanderlust is a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world. I'm an animal lover, in some years I see myself surrounded by ten (or more) puppies. I believe in all equality.

Hope you enjoy my blog!